(I) Emptiness

How am I to live
With a hole in my heart
The one I dug
Myself
After I told
Myself
I would never think about it again.

How am I to live
With the
Nagging
Gnawing
Sensation
In my heart and in my head
After I told
Myself
I would live anew.

(II) Refuse

I, refuse

To
Succumb to the
Pressures

Of being in love with you.

I want to feel -
Your hair, eyes, nose, lips, chin, chest, navel -
I want to smell
And taste everything
Again.

I want to write lyrically
For you, spiritually
I carve a path to you on my arm
From my pulse to your throb.

(III) Bottle

Quite suddenly I look
Up,

And then I see your face
In my mind
Next to hers.

It is always next to hers
But not always.

I remember how you taste.
The strong bitter whiff of beer
With danger written across it
But i took it anyway.

Poison you are,
You wreck my waking hours
Until i want to hurt myself.

(IV) Poison

But I still want to drink you -
Every drop
I wish I did

And I loved the way you thrust your fingers
Deep
Into
Me
And pulled me
Back
Into
You.
It makes me shiver with warmth.

And then you killed me slowly -
Everyone saw
Everyone heard
Everyone hates me.

But I lay there
I knelt
For the taking
And you took

But i couldnt take all of it in.

And then now there is no more
And i wish we died.

(V) Four Play

I sent you a message.
Did you get it?

You were asleep,
I think,
You didnt care much about it.

You'd rather not, you said,
It depends on your mood.
So flippant,
But every girl does that don't they?
Every single one
And the rest too
Who want something from you

And she said
It wouldnt be fair to HER
And you said it to her too

So what does that make me?

Nothing, apparently
Because I knelt and I took you in
And you
Don't
Even
Love
Me.

(VI) Please

I'm getting
Tired.

There is an ache

Resonating

Throughout my body.

And it has your name and smell all over it.
What I would give
For just another night
With you
In me.

It would kill me
The last
But i need that.
I dont want to die alone
Or die myself.

It would be death
But it would be real
And real death
Is better
Than dying alone.

And I just want one more,
Please sir.

(VII)

(VIII) Wrong Way

That's not the way
To treat
A lady

Even if shes immoral
Or was.

That's not the way
To end
Anything

Because

You kill me.